The Three P's

There are three P's in motherhood. You don't have to think very hard to realize what they are:

Pee.
Poop.
Puke.

They surround our entire day. If we're not covered in them then we are most likely telling the latest tale about them to our girlfriends over a martini.

Just a warning, there's a hilarious disgusting picture of puke on a shirt below. If you don't want to see it, you should probably stop reading now.


PEE. If you have a baby boy, then you know this tale all too well. I have two boys, and I discovered that I didn't remember the "pee in the eye" rule until it was too late. I left my youngest uncovered during a diaper change for only a fraction of a second and I was hit in the eye. He was talented enough to even hit himself at the same time. Needless to say he hasn't done it again. But Pee is like the horse of different colors. No story is ever the same. My oldest son, otherwise referred to as "the know-it-all," decided to do this the other day:

I'm just cleaning up my mess Momma.
Hmmm.


POOP. We all saw the picture I posted a couple of weeks ago. I still don't have the words to explain that one. But at other times, it seems as though I am constantly talking about my child's poop.

Oh, it was a little darker today.

Who let the cork out!?

When did you eat carrots?

And my all time favorite: Did it smell any different?

I have to admit, my husband is really nice about changing the poopy diapers and the wiping of the butts. He obviously complains (who doesn't) but I've never had to ask him twice to change the Poopinator. Here's his first diaper change at the hospital with Mr. Know-it-all:

Okay, I'll give him a little slack. That first poop is always bad. Just another reason to rejoice that I had cesareans and wasn't able to get out of bed for a day.


PUKE. Ahhhh. My favorite. This one isn't much of dinner conversation but it does come up from time to time (yes, that was a bad pun). My first child wasn't much of a puker. The only real time he let it fly was when I introduced him to my boss (at my then job). She jumped back at least two feet and it still hit her. My husband called it disgusting. I called it hilarious.

Now, my youngest, the Poopinator, is also referred to as the Puke Master. Oh yes. This child vomits or spits-up at least twice an hour. I've never seen anything like it. Sometimes it's a little. Sometimes its A LOT. For instance (and those of you faint at heart should not scroll down):

My husband and I call this one "Puke Fest 2011." I survived that mortifying experience incident and the many that have followed. I have several favorite shirts that are now stained enough for two lifetimes. Our doctor says it will go away around eight months. I'm holding him to that. If the Puke Master doesn't stop by then I'll be knocking on the doctor's front door and he can feed him everyday until he does.

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A WEEK IN PICTURES

I just spent four hours (off and on) trying to figure out how to download these photos from the stupid Instagr.am app. It was a headache, let me tell you. Please enjoy. Please come back and enjoy them again. Please tell your friends to stop by and see them. It would make me very happy to know that I didn't waste my Friday evening for nothing.

We headed across the river to Illinois to see family.
I'm still in awe every time I see it.

Carter's first attendance at a birthday party!

I've always dreamed of owning my own unicorn.

I know, I know, but I was really excited to see them, and I have a lot of pictures.

Christopher wanted to by my hair stylist.
Pretty good, I think.
He said I did a good job.

This is nothing new.
How did you get puke on your forehead, Carter?
It's easy! Just spit-up in the middle of your nap and rub your face in it!
Every. Single. Day.
Ick.

Um... It's hot here.
I got a reading of 105 today but I was doing like, 90 mph, and didn't think it wise to take a photo.
Kidding.

It's hot.
What did you expect a picture of?

I think I'm in love.

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Somemother

Hey there!

I'm featured over at Somemother today. Come check it out. Pretty cool concept for a blog. Wish I could get people to answer my questionnaire like she does. Ahem. Cough. Look below. Just sayin. Either way, come check out Somemother. You won't regret it.

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U2 360

Busch Stadium, St. Louis

It's been a long week. I hope to get the chance later this week to tell you about all of the events that have unfolded. But really? The most important thing happened last night.

The hubby and I had our first real date night in almost two years. Sure, we've been to a couple of parties or been out with friends, but this time was different. We were going somewhere we wanted to go. Doing what we wanted, with whom we wanted. And we paid a pretty penny too. But it was totally worth it.

We went to see U2 for their 360 tour. There's not much to say about the night other than the fact that it was amazing. I've been to plenty of concerts in my lifetime, but this one takes the cake. I am still in a euphoria from the evening. U2 put on the most spectacular show of all time. The stage alone was enough to call it the best concert in the past 100 years. But then adding Bono's voice and The Edge's guitar skills just made it that much better.

It was a surreal feeling to listen to my favorite songs played out live in front of me. "With or Without You" is in my top five favorite songs of all time. Not to mention that I grew up with U2 from a very early age and I practically know all the words to all their songs. In fact, "Beautiful Day" was played at my wedding for a good reason.

Their songs have such meaning and depth. The impact of all these elements hit hard last night and I realized I was experiencing something that only happens once in a lifetime. Without further ado, here are my pictures from the show.

Broadway Oyster Bar before the show.

The Claw
(it's taller than the stadium!)

Heading to our seats.

The Edge.

Bono.

Mysterious Ways.

Zooropa.

Vertigo.

Discotheque.

Where the Streets Have No Name.

Moment of Surrender.

Saying Good-bye.

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Cocktail Companions - Giveaway

One of my missions when I started this blog was to bring fellow mothers together. I wanted us all to talk and realize that we are more alike than different. Even though we all secretly judge one another it's an eye-opening experience to find out that all mothers have the same insecurities. We all freak out at our children from time to time. Everyone wishes they could lose that baby weight. And we all can't believe what we've gotten ourselves into.

Now, with all that in common, we each have our differences as well. Things that make us stand out from the crowd. It's those things that we should embrace and be proud of. And we should support our differences. I created Cocktail Companions as a place for mother's to share their stories. It's also a post for you to learn about other mothers. It hasn't received as much enthusiasm as I had originally hoped - but I'm not giving up. I still think it's a great idea. It just needs a little push. Ergo the giveaway.



A $20 gift card to iTunes!

Yippee! I've set the standard rules below. But here's the big deal: You must fill out the Cocktails Companion Questionnaire below. That's it. Answer as many or as few questions as you'd like. You can promote your website/blog or you can remain anonymous. Totally up to you. Be as honest as you can but most of all, just have fun with it. Feel free to drink a glass of wine while you fill it out (I hear it helps).

Oh, and for those of you who have already completed the questionnaire, you're name will go into the drawing for the giveaway as well, you don't have to submit again.

Thanks ladies!

CONTEST RULES:

Main Entry (Required): Copy and paste the questionnaire below and email it to bringmommythevodka@gmail.com

Anyone from any country may participate. The only rule is that you must be a mother of a human being. Sorry, Chihuahuas don't count. All questionnaires must be submitted by 7/21/2011.

Additional Entries (Optional). Please leave a SEPARATE COMMENT for each entry.:

Be a follower of this site publicly.

Follow BMTV on Facebook.

Follow @Bringmommyvodka on Twitter.

Tweet this giveaway. Include me on the tweet: @Bringmommyvodka

Mention this giveaway on your blog or website.



COPY AND PASTE THE QUESTIONNAIRE BELOW. Email your responses to: bringmommythevodka@gmail.com

All questions are optional (even your name).

1. First name:

2. Blog or website:

3. Country you live in:

4. Ethinicity:

5. Status - Married, Single, Divorced:

6. Lifestyle (stay-at-home mom, career-mom, both):

7. Children (how many, sexes, ages - no names please):

8. Biggest myth about Mommydom you'd like to debunk:

9. Something you wish another mother had told you about before you had children (most eye-opening experience):

10. One example of how you relax or give yourself some much needed "me time":

11. Your favorite cocktail/drink:

12. Favorite thing to do with your kid(s):

13. Favorite thing to do without your kid(s):

 

14. A specific experience in Mommydom that you still can't believe happened:

15. A motherly experience you regret:

16. A motherly experience you can remember thinking, "I totally rock." (Toot your horns ladies!):

17. Best advice you can give about being a mom. Whether it's something you learned on your own or something someone else taught you:

18. What (if any) are your dreams/goals/ambitions from this day forward as a mother:

19. What are your dreams/goals/ambitions from this day forward as a woman:

20. What grade would you give yourself as a mother and why:

I was not paid or endorsed in anyway by iTunes for this giveaway. I paid for the gift card with my own fricking money. That's how much I love you all.

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DON'T WORRY, I'LL BE DRINKING

This may be my last post.

I know, I'm sad too. I'm scared as well.

I'm afraid that I will be swallowed whole by four children under the age of 3:

Cute huh? Don't let those baby faces fool you.

I'm now babysitting twice a week for a friend.

I've cleaned five poopy diapers in six hours.

I've wiped butts twice.

I've been spit on. Puked on.

My hair has been pulled out.

My eardrum may have burst.

I've broken four nails.

I'm concerned the neighbors think I have a sweat shop.

I don't know that I'll make it to the end of the day. If anyone would like to send reinforcements such as booze or medicinal smoke, please comment below and I'll send you my address.

If I don't post again tomorrow, it was great getting to know all of you.  I have truly enjoyed my short time as the Vodka Mommy.

Who are we kidding. I'll be back. I'll survive. I'll be drinking, but I'll survive.

See you tomorrow.

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EVERYONE HAS A STORY

I was watching an Oprah repeat the other day - I'm surprised I haven't mentioned Oprah before now, she and I are tight (as in, I watch her every day) - and I saw something that just set off a light bulb in my head.

It was a Father's Day episode, and not getting into too much detail, a woman gave her husband a diary to fill out. You see, her husband had just been deployed to Iraq and they had a baby boy on the way. The wife wanted her husband to have something to do with his spare time and she also wanted something for her son to have if anything were to happen to her husband.

The husband went above and beyond her expectations. Not only did he fill out the diary (prompted with questions printed at the top of each page) but he filled in margins when there wasn't enough room. He added pictures and clippings. And memorabilia he had collected.

He was able to meet his son and spend two weeks of leave with him. Shortly after returning to the war, he was killed in action. When his wife received his footlocker, she opened it and found under some clothing the diary she had given him. It was a complete history of his life.

Later she turned it into a book:

A Journal For Jordan

It's a very touching journal if you ever get the chance to read it.

But more importantly, it got me thinking, and I hope you as well... There is so little we know about our family. Even though I think I may know my husband, my mother, my father or even my grandmother. The truth is that I really don't. I don't know what they were like when they were in grade school. I don't know what they were like in the military. Who their best friends were. What their first kiss was like.

Everyone has a story but it very seldom gets told.

At my grandfather's funeral a few weeks ago, we were lucky enough to view his scrapbooks, photo albums and letters he kept over the years. We have an insight into certain times of his life. I don't think people would be so lucky if I were to pass on today or tomorrow. I never kept a journal. I've made a few photo albums over the years but there are no words to them.

So what did I do? I went and bough five question-prompted diaries. Or "Do-it-yourself Biography" books as they are sometimes called. I gave one to my mother, one to my father, one to my husband, one to my grandmother and kept one for myself.

I've enjoyed spending five minutes a day filling out a few questions about my life. It's brought me back to good memories, it's brought me back to bad memories. But all-in-all it's an enjoyable experience. When I'm done I'll pack it away in a box in the basement. Maybe when I'm gone from this place my children will find it and be able to dive a little into my past. Something I can leave behind for them...

My father was the only one that was a little "ho-hum" about it. He said he would do it but no one was allowed to read it until he was dead. Fair enough, I said.

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