Thursday, December 3, 2009

A LOT MORE OF EVERYTHING, PLEASE

Obviously I'm running a little behind in posting the 18th month blog. I guess it will all work out in the end because I'll probably be late posting the 19th.

It's kind of interesting if you think about it. Christopher turned 19 months a week and a half ago and he seems to be the average size of a 30 month old child. When he was 9 months old (see 01/30/09 blog) he was the average size of a nineteen month old. I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens when he turns two and a half.
With an increase in size comes an increase in bumps and bruises. We've had eight bloody incidents to date. The most recent was a face plant on the hardwood floor that ended up in a fat lip and giant cut in his mouth. It was the worst accident we've had so far and Christopher managed to get blood on three different articles of clothing, two of them mine. He also smiled like Elvis for two days.
Christopher has had the usual bloody nose, cuts and scrapes but a month ago (one day after the last blog update) he landed himself in the emergency room. It was about 6 p.m. when Susie barked and scared Christopher. Christopher turned to run away from her and tripped over his own feet. -Remember when I told you Brian and I passed him our clumsy genes? Well this is an example. He ended up landing on a hard plastic toy elephant he got from the zoo and cut his face. It was right in the laugh line on his left cheek. It wasn't big by any means. Less than a centimeter. Something I would not normally fret over. Well forty five minutes went by and it didn't stop bleeding. Every time Christopher spoke, smiled, sneezed or frowned it would open. At closer look we could tell it was more of a gash and deeper than we thought.
I made a butterfly clip out of a Band-Aid but Christopher wouldn't have anything to do with it. So it was settled. We were off to the ER. By the time we saw the ER doc it was an hour and a half later. Three nurses had already told me that the doctor would probably use some dermabond to seal the wound instead of stitches. Fine by me. I don't want to hold a screaming baby while a doctor sticks a needle and thread in his face.
Once the doctor finally showed up to our room he examined Christopher and told me that dermabond wasn't necessary and that a sterile strip will do the work. Really? That's it?? Please tell me I didn't come here just for that. It's true - Mr. Doctor said it was just superficial and a sticky strip no bigger than the wound itself can hold it together and keep it from reopening.
Lovely.
So an hour after seeing the doctor, the nurse came back in and placed the sticker I could have bought for twenty cents at Walgreens on Christopher's "superficial cut". An hour after that we left the hospital a hundred dollars poorer.
Christopher now has a tiny scar just on the inside of his laugh line. If you ask him where his $100 boo-boo is, he'll point it out to you.
Christopher is doing well these days responding to what we ask and even speaking a few legible words himself. He's able to show you most of his body parts (see video below). Unfortunately he also trys to point to yours. Be careful, he may try to find your belly button and ask "whas tha?". He's also able to tell you the sounds of most animals. We just learned the rooster and the duck a few weeks ago. My new favorite is the donkey. When you ask him what Radar (my parent's donkey) says, he'll reply, "heehaw". Trust me, it's much cuter in person. Christopher has also learned "cool", which is something he says about everything. You could show him sock lint and he would reply "cool".
He's also learned "mine". This is the most annoying word in the English language. He runs around screaming "mine" just like the seagulls from Finding Nemo. It's insanely annoying. He refuses to let you have anything that he has and screams. He also yells "mine" as he is removing something from your hands. He has no sense of the word share. He has no problem giving something to another person if you ask him to. I call him my "Little Golden Retriever". He'll go get anything you want and bring it back to you. But that's only if you tell him to when he initially gets the item. If he holds an object for more than 10 seconds without instructions, then it's his and you may as well kiss it goodbye.
If on the rare chance you are brave enough to take the item, like a cell phone, back from him, then you must be prepared to endure the wrath of Christopher. He will scream his two and a half year old size lungs off until you give the cell phone back or put him in a time out.
Yes, at this age he knows what a time out is. He should, seeing as how he gets 34 of them a day. So that's really an exaggeration but still, he gets at least one a day. I have to keep telling myself that it's his age. All children his age act like this. If they don't they are either drugged by their parents or they are from another planet.
I'm not really sure what happened with Christopher. A few months ago he would throw small fits when he didn't get what he wanted. After a time out or a short cry he would go back to the lovable Christopher we all know. I thought to myself, wow, I can handle the "Terrible Twos"; this isn't nearly as bad as everyone says it is. Then one day by the snap of a finger, he changed. He became a screaming, crying lunatic. At everything. The tiniest thing will set him off and he will go into a rage that can not be described. Nothing you do will make him happy. I've tried ignoring him. I've tried reprimanding him. I've tried time-outs. I've even tried what I've been told not to do - I've tried bribing him. Nothing, absolutely nothing, will work.
This is when I usually go to my happy place. It's a place of puppies, kittens and Jack Daniels. Of course I'm snapped back into reality when throws a book past my face to get my attention.
It's a battle I endure everyday and one that Brian endures every evening. I'm hoping that one day soon it will end. It has to, otherwise I don't know how the human race would survive. People would just stop having kids if this went on forever.
Speaking of, I have been asked a total of 249 times when Brian and I are going to have another. My usual response is "As soon as Christopher learns how to bring Mommy the vodka." But my real and rational response is, not now. There are many things we need to take care of at the moment and as soon as those things are out of the picture then we'll see what happens.
Since I don't have any news of my own to celebrate with you right now, I'll just be content with telling you about some girlfriends of mine that are celebrating. Of course you know from previous posts that my friend Sarah Hurst is due this month. Her official due date is the 17th but she's hoping for earlier. I personally hope she has a Christmas baby, but that's only because I'd win the delivery date bet. I wish her the best of luck during delivery.
Five other families we know will be extending their families. Todd and Kathleen are planning a stateside birth for their second, a boy, before heading back to Africa. Lisa, their 12 month old is going to make a wonderful big sister.
Ben and Megan Hicks will be giving their two sons Aiden and Jacob another brother some time in late January/early February. Also Emily and Shane Howes will be giving their daughter, Audrey, a little brother around the same time.
My good friend Amy Stites and her husband Steve are looking at another summer baby. Their 14 month daughter Raegan has no idea if it's gonna be a boy or a girl yet, but either way she'll be a wonderful sister.
And last but not least, my long time - bridesmaids at each others weddings - friend Lauren and her husband Philip are expecting number two in May. They've done such a wonderful job raising Miss Mya, I know this one will be a piece of cake. They waited until the delivery to find out if Mya will be a boy or girl and I'm really hoping they don't wait this time... Not that they should do what I want. I just don't know if my nerves can take it this time. Since 3 of the other 4 families (that we know of so far) are having boys, I'm going to go with girl on this one. I think Philip is destined to be surrounded by women the rest of his life. They'll find out in either two months or six months. Either way I'll be sure to pass along the news.
Congrats on all of the mommies to be. I look forward to seeing new faces throughout the next year.
And I'll see you all again next week when I post about Mommy's Day Off Brunch #2. Don't forget your baby pictures ladies!
Until then, chow.

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