Monday, October 4, 2010

THE GLUCOSE TEST

It might not be the worst part of a pregnancy, (the charley horses in the middle of the night get the top prize there) but this item might take second.

The 24 week Glucose Test. Ick. It was as bad as I had imagined it would be when I was pregnant with Christopher and now that I know what to expect, well, I'm dreading it. I had the orange flavor last time, so I requested lemon lime this go-around hoping it would be a little better. My doctor laughed at me.

Here's the deal with the Glucose Challenge Screening Test if you don't know what it's about: It's a preliminary screening to see if the mother may have Gestational Diabetes. If you fail (or test positive) then you are lucky enough to move on to round two. The first "challenge" requires you to drink a sweet syrup-y liquid (fasting two hours before) and then arriving at the doctor's office exactly one hour after you've finished your delicious sugar concoction. You get blood drawn to see how your body processes sugar. A high level is not good. Like I said, that means you get to move on to round two which requires a specific diet for three days, more fasting and more blood tests.

I'm not expecting any problems with the results but that's not really what I'm worried about. I'm worried about trying to drink the most disgusting fluid on the planet with an empty stomach that gets kicked 40 times an hour by an alien the size of a cantaloupe.  It's just wrong to torture pregnant women this way.

It's also wrong to give a pregnant women an expired bottle of Glucose:


I guess I'll be calling the doctor's office this afternoon for another bottle of yummy goodness.

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